The Cellular Age

What helps you wake up on time, gives you nearly instant access to endless information and jams to your favorite tunes? No not the best personal assistant ever...the cell phone. The mobility and ever-growing apps of cell phones simplify our lives and allow us to do nearly anything we want on the go. They can also make us rude. I could go on and on about annoying cellular activities from the guy in the restaurant saying "Dude I was so *ucking wasted last night" to the pretty little princess proclaiming to the entire grocery store how her life is "OMG so hard..I actually had to wait for my mani-pedi for like two minutes." Even the most innocent of conversations can become inappropriate when they happen in the wrong place. Here are a few guidelines to live by before you become the next cellular schmuchatelly (schmuck-uh-tell-ee).

1) Never talk and drive.
Besides getting a ticket (many states have passed laws against hand-held devices) it's dangerous. You are driving a loaded weapon. Let's not take the safety off and make the stakes even higher.

2) Cell phones are not made for small public spaces.
It is unacceptable to gab in any small place where there are other people. Examples include elevators, buses and crowded areas like stores and restaurants. Instead find a large common area or go outdoors to finish what you have to say and spare the rest of us the details of your evening plans or proctology exam.

3) Never take or make a call in line.
Not only does this fall under the lines of a small space that others share but it is extremely rude to the clerk. Cashiers, servers, hostesses and baristas are people too and they should be treated with respect.

4) Apologizing can be bad or badish.
If you botch number three, apologize to the human being(s) standing in front of you. Saying sorry to the person you're chatting with adds insult to injury if you don't make things right with those standing near you. Instead politely ask your friend to either hold until your business is complete or see if you may call them back later. Any decent person will understand. If not they probably weren't worth the conversation in the first place.

5) Hand-held devices and ear-buds are created equal.
This means just because you have the latest thingamabob to jam into your ear like they did in old sci-fi movies doesn't give you liscense to break the rules. If you do this you are still an asshole.